


The stars are colliding (forever)

by Sashaya



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Afterlife, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Happy Ending, Romance, Spoilers for people who didn't finish ME3, Synthesis Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashaya/pseuds/Sashaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she jumps, she knows there’s nothing else <i>after</i>. </p><p>And her only thought is: <i>I lied to him</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The stars are colliding (forever)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, my dearest **Nehelena** , for helping me with this story. I'm sorry for always spoiler-ing you! <3
> 
>  
> 
>  ** _Disclaimer:_** _I don't own any of the characters._

When she jumps, she knows there’s nothing else _after_. She knows that right here, right now, when history is being made, that’s the end. Her end. 

And her only thought is: _I lied to him_. 

People say that the last thing you see before death is your whole life flashing before your eyes like a vid someone sped up too much. She didn’t have that before – before she died the first time, and who can say they died at least twice? – and she doesn’t have it now. 

There’s only Garrus’ face right before she let go of him, there’s only Garrus’ eyes huge and scared when he saw her bleeding, there’s only Garrus’ mouth wrapping around _love you too_.

It’s a wonderful picture to die to. 

Still, when she falls, she cries because Garrus lost so much already, half of that was her fault for taking him with her in a run around the galaxy and making another rift between him and his father. The last moment he’ll have of her, will be of her lying.

Lying that she will come back.

How cruel is that?

 

 

Shepard keeps falling and falling, and she knows there’s no molecule of her left but she still feels, she still think and she still is. _She still loves him_. 

Shepard’s left in some sort of limbo, void that doesn’t let her move on, doesn’t let her die and rest. She’s ready to be moved by the waves. 

(Thane promised to wait on the shore, where Kalahira would throw them both.)

She wants to disappear completely.

 

 

Shepard waits and she watches the galaxy change. The world she left isn’t ideal or perfect but it is and it’s the best she could wish for. There’s a feeling of _lost_ and _yearning_ for all of this that she threw away. 

She doesn’t regret dying, but she misses life.

Misses _him_.

 

 

Time doesn’t fly, doesn’t pass in this place and it’s different from the first time she was dead. Before there was nothing but blackness and nothingness. She died and a second later she was alive again. 

It doesn’t happen here. 

Shepard tells time by watching. She watches Joker and EDI built a home for themselves, watches Liara and Javik come closer and closer until there’s nothing left between them. She watches Wrex and Bakara with their children and she cries because they are a gift to the galaxy. 

Shepard watches Garrus fall apart and stand up again. She watches him break, watches as Tali helps him on his feet but she doesn’t stay and he doesn’t stop her. 

She can still feel his heartbeat.

 

 

Things are starting to change, when the heartbeat stutters.

 

 

Shepard feels different in a way that dead doesn’t feel. She feels whole and alive and Kalahira’s shores welcome her for the first time. 

She hates that Garrus is the first she sees. It means he’s dead. 

“Rookie mistake” he tells her, keeps her in his arms like he doesn’t want her to leave again. “I didn’t notice the second gun” 

It makes her feel a little better because it wasn’t her fault then. 

“I waited” she tells him, presses so close to him they wouldn’t be able to breathe if they were still alive.

“I know. Thank you” he whispers into her ear and she misses this sound so much. “I still didn’t forgive you for lying to me. You knew even back then what was going to happen”

Shepard doesn’t deny it because it’s the truth and she respects him too much to lie to him now. 

“I love you” she tells him and joins their hands. 

“I love you” he tells her and smiles.

 

 

Kalahira’s shores disappears with them.

**Author's Note:**

> I used "Kalahira's shore" even if it's not a Shep/Thane story because I loved the idea.
> 
>  
> 
> And yes. I finally finished playing this series.
> 
> PS. I hate the title so I might change it in the future.


End file.
